In marriage we are accountable to each other and to God. We said, “I do,” in front of God and man that we would love, cherish, and honor one another. When you are honoring someone you show you are accountable to them. You share your life, dreams, hurts, and mistakes, in order to become one. You let them know where you are, where you are going, make all passwords known, and allow access to phones and devices. Have checks and balances.
Checks And Balances
We are usually discussing money or government when we bring up checks and balances. The definition for checks and balances is: various procedures set in place to make mistakes minimal. Also, that not one person has too much power. You will have clearly defined boundaries. When discussing marriage, we can put these principles in the context of protecting you and your marriage.
When looking at the institution of marriage some look at it as, “the old ball and chain.” Someone who is keeping them from all of the fun they could have. But when you look at marriage in the proper way, you see it is a blessing that keeps you from destruction. You are protecting your spouse, and they are protecting you. Boundaries set in place will keep you protected against attacks to devour your marriage.
God never intended for a marriage to be a place of domination. It is a safe place to grow together, to dream, to cover each other’s faults. If you are in a relationship where power is held over your head by physical abuse, you need to get to a safe place. But for most who enter into marriage with hopes and dreams, you enter in with forgiveness as well. Have checks and balances set in place to keep your hearts with all diligence.
Two people trying to become one is difficult to say the least. You are working to love, share, combine, and create one life. You are becoming one. This takes a lot of forgiveness and checks and balances. You need to set parameters of what is acceptable and what is not. If one or both of you cross this boundary, you need to sit down, discuss, and forgive each other. Supernatural forgiveness can happen when God is at the center.
A Threefold Cord
When Jesus is at the center of your lives and marriage you have a threefold cord that is not easily broken. He binds us to Him and to each other making our ties together that much greater! IF we start to move away from God and His protections, checks and balances, we are in great danger of unraveling. What do you do when this happens? You first repent to God, then move to rebuilding trust in your relationship. It can work!
Trust is so easily shattered in this world. You can drop an expensive vase that shatters into a million pieces with one mistake. The same vase can be repaired with a beauty that endures with gold. It’s called Kintsugi, its the process of taking broken pottery and repairing it to make it even more beautiful than the first vase or bowl. It gives it a second chance to have use and life. Isn’t this just like the Lord. He takes our flaws, and brokenness and makes us more beautiful and gives us another chance at a useful and fulfilling life. He gives us checks and balances to have order, but even in our mistakes he creates a greater masterpiece!
Monday: Galatians 6:1 says, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” Remember how you would like to be treated in your faults as you are accountable to one another. Love your spouse as you set up checks and balances in your marriage.
Tuesday: Proverbs 10:12 says, “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.” Checks and balances come with love in marriage. When you love your spouse you set boundaries with love, not out of control.
Wednesday: Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” How do you know what boundaries to set? It’s all in the word. Seek Him and obey His word.
Thursday: Proverbs 4:32 says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Pray daily God helps you to keep your heart, to be diligent. Don’t allow bitterness to take root!
Friday: Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Make this a scripture you use daily in your home!
Saturday: Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” God is always right there ready to help you withstand any enemy of your marriage.
Sunday: Jeremiah 18:6 says, “O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the Lord. Behold, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.” When we have imperfections and flaws if we will go to Jesus He can remake us into something valuable!
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