Do you remember the day the love of your life bent down to one knee? I do! I can remember the intimate details!! We were already planning the wedding, as my mom lived out of the state and would only be in town in April. It was March, I had just had my birthday, and it was still cold outside. This was before we used our phones all of the time to take pics, selfies, and before we backed it all up. There may have been a picture but if there was it is long gone on some old phone that died. I was able to get a picture years later of the place he bended his knee and proposed. It was a beautiful setting, warm, romantic, and right beside the fireplace! The restaurant is now closed but was called, “Dunaways!”
Did you know, “Love Bends?” When you bend a knee and propose you are showing humility. You are saying to the one you love, “I am yours,” and am humbly asking for your hand in marriage. If you stand straight up and propose, well it comes off as arrogant. Love bends to say I honor you, respect you, and want to spend my life with you. It’s a sign of surrender and humility. When we are alone, single, and in charge of every decision we make, we tend to do our own thing, and our focus is on ourselves. When we get married, we are bending to say, “I’m no longer my highest priority.” “You are!” This principle isn’t just for the man, but it is when it comes to proposing.
Bending graciously to our spouse says to them, “I love you and I don’t always need to be right.” Giving grace is honoring someone, distinguishing, or giving distinction to: it’s also a way of allowing the imperfections of your spouse to have room in your life. Love says, “your faults are part of who you are, and I am giving you grace to have them, and vice versa.” You bend to your spouse in grace, love, and allow for room to grow!
Picture a Palm Tree during a hurricane. When a palm tree is in a hurricane it bends to withstand the storm! It bends, is flexible, and adaptable. We could learn a lot from the Palm tree when it comes to our marriage. Learning to bend is not as easy as it sounds. We are pretty good at wanting things our own way when entering into our marriage. Depending on your upbringing, age, and baggage, you could be either very flexible, or you could be very rigid. If you are in the early years or the latter years of marriage it is always good to remember to bend. Because love bends.
Are you flexible in your marriage and in life as a whole? Being flexible is about humility and bending in love. Think about a time when you may have worked out, or maybe you do everyday. If you haven’t worked out in awhile you may be very stiff and inflexible. You have to stretch and bend to get your body to loosen up. In the same way, you need to stretch past your own ideas and bend to your spouses to see another point of view. Do you always need to be right? If so, you may need to stretch yourself to a place of bending. Bend to the place of a humble heart so you can truly listen to what your spouse is saying.
Brent and I will be married for 12 years on April 25th!!! We are so in love, in tune, and in line with each other. We pray, fast, forgive, love, and bend our wills and desires to meet each others needs! It took time for us to learn each other, and how to best make each other feel safe. We had to learn to be adaptable! We have had an ever-changing marriage, full of moves, jobs, sickness, surgeries, new adventures, pains, loss, the ups and downs of marriage and life, and adapting was our only option. What if we had chosen to say, “I’m not doing that,” or, “My way or the highway!” We wouldn’t be here today about to celebrate a wonderful marriage!! We had to be flexible, adapt and bend in love. Saying, “I’m sorry,” is a posture of bending!
Where do we get this great wisdom from? A man who bended in love on a tree! Jesus paid it all, He bent His will to give us life and love! He showed us how to behave when you love someone! He died for His church, His bride! You see it was His lead, and we are to follow. The church is now to give our lives for Him! So as in marriage a man will humble himself and take on a position of humility to take care, honor, love, provide, and protect his wife. She in turn will take on a position of humility and love, keep, honor, and respect her husband as the authority in her life. It’s a give and take, but both give 100%!! We both bend in love! We look to the one who gave His life for us on a tree that was cut down and called cursed. That tree that had deep roots and growth at one time, now held the God of creation for our sins. The tree bended to those that cut it down and called it cursed. We could learn a lot from the tree as well. Its purpose was to hold our Savior and it held Him so we might live. Can you bend even when you are not treated with respect? Can you love when you feel like everything is against you and the storms of life are pulling up your roots? Or will you bend like the palm tree and see another day? Could it be that you are being asked to be cut down so others can see salvation? Love bends and so must we!
Our prayer for you this week is that you find ways to bend to your spouse! To look at them with fresh eyes of love and listen to their thoughts, dreams, and concerns with love! Find ways to bend to their desires, and hopes, and say you’re sorry when you have hurt their dreams with harsh words. Believe God for a great promise to come out of your bending! Watch!! You too can have a happily ever married marriage!!
Monday: Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” When you got married, you probably were exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit! Let’s continue following this scripture daily in our marriage as we bend in love.
Tuesday: Ephesians 5:2 says, “And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savor.” Humility in marriage is walking in love, just as Jesus humbled himself as a sacrifice, we can give ourselves in humility to our spouse daily and it will smell so sweet!!
Wednesday: Romans 5:5 says, “And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” Giving grace to your spouse is wrapped up in this scripture. When you have the Holy Ghost the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts and we don’t make our spouse ashamed because we have hope and that hope helps us to trust in any given situation. You can then easily bend instead of making them brake.
Thursday: Romans 8:37 says, “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” In the storms of life we can learn to bend like the palm tree and conquer! Why? Because He loved us!! So we can love our spouse in the same way!
Friday: 1 John 3:17 says, “But whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?” When we are flexible we are bending and compassionate! Our spouse is still our brother in Christ, so we should treat them with the same love to bend and see their point of view!
Saturday: Galatians 5:13 says, “For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.” When we become adaptable to each new situation in marriage and life we must remember to, by love, serve our spouse and not to give liberty to our flesh!
Sunday: Philippians 2:6-8 says, “Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.” We must follow His lead, to put away our self, serve, humble ourselves, and die daily! If we can do this in our life with God, we can do this in our marriage and be blessed!!
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